Thank You, Normandale Baptist Church

Dear NBC Church Family,

As we shared with you yesterday in service, our family is being called away to serve elsewhere. I wanted to share a few more of the details with you via this blog that has served as an additional communication tool and resource in my time serving you as discipleship pastor:

After two months of prayerful process, it has been confirmed beyond any doubt that our Lord is calling the Musgrove family to serve at The Village Church (Flower Mound). God is truly in all of this. It's been an astounding process these past few months, but one we couldn't share until just now. Since this all began I have been working with the NBC pastoral staff to ensure a smooth transition so discipleship and spiritual formation ministries do not lose momentum.

I was introduced as Associate Groups Pastor at The Village Church's "Group Connect" this past Wednesday evening, an event that helps people get into small groups so they might pursue biblical community together. My first office day at the Village is September 27th.

As Groups Pastor at The Village, I am charged to personally disciple, mentor, and pastor small group leaders and coaches so they can in turn disciple people in their group. There will also be opportunities to teach.

We are sad to leave NBC. There are just so many formative experiences that will forever make Normandale a part of my family's story: my first pastoral staff position and communal spiritual formation with all of you, Jenny and I being married in the worship center, the birth of Jordan and your outpouring of prayer and hospitality upon his birth, and my recent ordination to the gospel ministry to name only a few. The staff have been so supportive and helped me learn what it means to be a pastor to the people. I will miss serving alongside them and you.

So we are truly living a favorite John Piper quote, "Endings are for gratitude, beginnings are for faith", as the Lord is undeniable in moving me and my family into ministry at The Village. This coming Sunday (9.26) will be our last as members and as a pastor at Normandale Baptist Church. The Lord seems to have been preparing us for this as I preached in August a sermon called, "Godly People Say Goodbye/What You Leave Behind". I was led to this passage as while walking through the recent goodbyes we have all said as a church and the possibility that I could soon be one of them. I commend it to you, if only for the reminder and challenge that if we are living Great Commission lives we will be saying goodbye often. That is the nature of making disciples. Our God brings us together for a time to serve together and then sends us to other arenas where we may be used by Him.

But godly friends never truly say goodbye. We are spiritual family and have a shared inheritance. Our bond and hope and tether is Christ. And in Him we are never truly parted. Our goal is to continue glorifying Him whether we are together or apart.

So just as Paul upon his departures and separations from spiritual friends wrote that he looked forward to hearing further about their faith and obedience, so does the Musgrove family anticipate hearing of our Great Savior continually made famous by the body of Christ at Normandale Baptist Church. All of us who have been a part of this church for this time have reason for great expectation. Soon we all who have served and loved and pressed on together at Normandale during these days will look back and say in unision, "Only God could have done this."

I look forward to the Day with you.

Grace and Peace,
Your servant in Christ,
Jared Steven Musgrove

Godly People Say Goodbye (Acts 20:18-35)

Christians living rightly

are consistently saying goodbye.

Download the sermon from Acts 20:18-35

Church Membership Matters

Church Membership Matters because our church must grasp hold of each other in responsibility, accountability, and love.

Part II of the series, "Church Matters"

Download the teaching: Church Membership Matters

Augustine As Mentor

While Smither's Augustine as Mentor reads much like a doctoral thesis (which I'm told was its origin), it is an important look at how one of the great spiritual leaders in history placed discipleship at the center of his life.

The history of discipleship provided by the book's first chapter is worth the price of admission alone. Succinct, rich, and well-researched, the opening chapter lays an important historical understanding of just what it means to be a NT disciple and disciple-maker. I can see the information from this chapter being used to lead church members to a better understanding of biblical discipleship. This first chapter fits within the context of this mostly biographical work, but it can also stand alone as one of the better treatments on biblical discipling that I have read.

The book spends a great deal of space in defining those men who mentored and inspired Augustine; Cyprian, Basil, and Ambrose featuring most prominently. Though the information is extensive, there is a repetition to the discipleship styles and information here. The up side is that one can see this strand of disciple-making mentoring run through the ancient church and influence its people. The down side to this treatment is that it can tend to bog down the reader in repetition.

The second half of the book is a biography of Augustine made a disciple and disciple-maker, with a special emphasis on his continual community of friends and its importance to his ministry.

The book closes with a final chapter of helpful summary points made throughout the work.

With exception of the first chapter on the history of discipleship, this is not the most crucial discipleship book on the market. But it is an incredibly well-researched look at the mentoring methods of a great Christian leader. Great ancillary reading on disciple-making.

----------------

Some rough outlines I made from information gleaned in the book:

Augustine on Christian Friendship

"caritas" is a love for God and neighbor as modeled by the Trinity.

Distinctives of Christian friendship:

- a friend is loved unconditionally because of Christ in him

- it is a bond that is a gift of the Holy Spirit.

- it is completely focused on God and the friends' fight for sanctification

- it is characterized by a common faith

Outcomes of Christian friendship:

- unity, "one heart in God"

- wonderful experience and a blessed outcome (Ps. 182)

- spiritual growth of community

On the Mentor As Disciple

- commitment to ascetic living in the context of community

- humility regarding what one does not know or understand, inviting others' input. Pride is continually killed.

- continuous theological development. the mentor as disciple is forever a student.

- writing (journaling, written works to aid disciples)

- lifelong commitment to growing as a disciple through demonstrating humility and transparency.

Mentor/Disciple Principles

- group context is always considered

- the mentor must be a committed, mature disciple

- selection of a disciple is based on existing relationship/friendship

- sound teaching is the center of discipling direction

- the discipler is a model fit for imitation by his disciple

- the discipler looks for opportunities to involve his disciple in practical ministry

- the discipler is aware that he will release the disciple to lead ministry

- the discipler is a continual resource to the released disciple

Community

My wife last night reminded me of what a cornerstone community is in my life and living. Distinguishing the shadows cast by those closest to us are the best way to illuminate a life. Here are few reflections from this realization:

My first acknowledgement of community came at the lack of it I felt in junior high and high school. Somewhere in there I decided to start asking God to send me some people. It didn’t have to be an extensive assembly; it was probably better if it wasn’t. I just wanted some fellows who shared my values and my conviction for Christ. The brothers I instinctively knew I was supposed to have around me weren’t there. So I prayed long and hard for them. And waited.

Then came college and Brothers Under Christ, a national Christian fraternity whose chapter at the University of Oklahoma had just taken off. It was purely providence to landed alongside these men and spent 4 years of my life praying together, playing together, comforting, sharpening, and protecting each other; constantly pointing one another to Jesus Christ, our King who is unashamed to call us His brothers. It was with these men who taught me how to learn, lead, disciple, and love my brothers deeply.

Coming to seminary, being an adult, moving on... community didn’t’ come along as easily. And then I walked into Normandale Baptist Church one November and found spiritual family in a room full of short-term strangers. They’ve since grafted me in and granted me the privilege of serving them in leadership.

And then there’s my wife, Jenny, who teaches me more about my God, myself, and my fellow mortals than I could ever learn alone. She is my constant companion and community.

I don’t mean to be overly sentimental about this, but it’s true. These people are family. And this truth of community and its influence on the course of my journey waves like a banner over my calling and ministry.  I hope to encourage and engender community and discipleship in those God allows me to touch. 

DOWN FOR THE COUNT: ...But Not Out. How the Men of God Begin to Rescue Male Intimacy from the Homosexual Agenda

PART 2 of DOWN FOR THE COUNT: How the Homosexual Agenda Delivers a Near-Knockout-Punch for Male Friendship.

--------------------------------

We've briefly defined a crisis in Part 1. Let's now have a blog-length look at the solution, men.

I'm addressing all you gentlemen directly because it is only from your godly leadership, approach, and passion that we will be able to affect any change in the perceptions of male friendship and make a difference in the lives of men who struggle with same gender attraction and a society that is increasingly accepting it as the norm.

For us to get up, dust ourselves off, and make progress in combating the homosexual agenda, we have to model healthy, intimate, God-honoring male friendships. Set the example for your sons and other men by following the example of David and Jonathan found in 1 Samuel 18 - 24.

Selfless love conquers sexual perversion.
David and Jonathan were committed to one another and were fearless in expressing these sentiments:"...the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul...Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul." (1 Samuel 18:1, 3)

There is a selflessness in pure, God-centered male friendships that will never exist in a homosexual relationship. Homosexuality is not about selfless love, but is, at its core, a selfish act concerned with worshiping the form of someone who mirrors your own self/body. Though soul ties are made in any type of sexual encounter, a knitting of souls is something completely, wholly and holy set apart.

Real men don't need sex to relate to one another. They need the common bond of Jesus Christ. I imagine as Jonathan listened to David explain to Saul how God strengthened him to face the giant Goliath something was stirred in Jonathan's spirit. He saw in David a heart much like his own and initiated a covenant of friendship and brotherhood, expressed in words of loyalty and actions of selflessness and esteem.

Charles Spurgeon perhaps stated this connection between men of God best:
"Whenever I find a man in whom the spirit of God rests, the Spirit in me leaps to hear the Spirit in him, and we feel that we are one."

Love men rightly and affectionately, bearing each other's burdens.
And as soon as the boy had gone, David rose from beside the stone heap and fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times. And [David and Jonathan] kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most. (1 Samuel 20:41)

There is an emotional intimacy displayed between these two men whose friendship has been affected by events outside of their control. Jonathan's father, Saul, has vowed to kill David. The two men must now part. And they are unafraid to display their innermost feelings and affection in a healthy display.

Men need to be unafraid to put an arm around a comrade's shoulder. Brothers should greet one another firm embraces. My own uncle, an army sargeant, kisses the side of my head each time I see him. Men in battle often hold one another when the fight is done. This is a necessary action of affection stretching all the way back to the Greek catharsis, in which men would attend tragic theater to weep and hone their emotions. This helped them on the field of battle face their fears and grieve healthily after battle's end.

Jonathan empathized with his covenant brother because he loved David's heart as much as his own. The two men had been through much at this point. But now more than ever, David, the man who would be King of Israel, needed strong arms to hold him and cry with him. It was healthy, it was intimate, it was God-honoring, and it even now flies in the face of a culture trying to sexualize any affection between men. It makes a statement still today, as will your example make in the life of the man you would call 'friend.'

There are many other aspects and examples to pursue and parse here. But blogs are meant to be snacks, not full-course meals. I pray you have been inspired and challenged by these scribblings to stand up and fight: fight for the men in your life, fight for true friendship, fight a warped agenda by setting an example that impacts individuals and changes lives.

We can do this, men. Decide today to take a stand and we can do this.

-------
RESOURCES

Part 1 is linked above.

If you are reading this and wish to further explore the subject, I commend you the following article. It is exquisitely written and very thorough: A Requiem for Friendship: Why Boys Will Not Be Boys and Other Consequences of the Sexual Revolution

If you are a man struggling in the area of same-gender attraction, I would direct you to an online ministry called Living Hope.

DOWN FOR THE COUNT: How the Homosexual Agenda Delivers a Near- Knock-Out Punch for Male Friendship -- PART 1

"Aw, dude! They're gaaaayy!"

That was the near-exclamation I heard a few years ago at a midnight screening of Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. It came from behind me in the darkened theater during a tender scene where friends Sam and Frodo held each other and cried as they said their final goodbyes. I was annoyed at the college guy's comment but not shocked at the immaturity or allegation leveled at the hobbits. Though there were a few snickers from his Frat Pack, most of the audience, I think, chose not to acknowledge him vocally (much in part to the arresting storytelling onscreen). But I don't think my fellow audience members dismissed the comment in their minds.

Apparently I wasn't the only one who had this kind of experience at Lord of the Rings. Anthony Esolen, an English professor at Providence College writes in his exceptional article, A Requiem for Friendship: Why Boys Will Not Be Boys and Other Consequences of the Sexual Revolution, of the same thing happening when he watched the movie.

I've noticed similar reactions at the mention David and Jonathan's deep friendship (beginning in 1 Samuel 18). When I was younger I sometimes felt shamed to say this was one of my favorite stories in the Old Testament because people would say D & J were gay lovers. But even a teenaged, theologically young Jared Steven Musgrove was pretty sure the Bible wasn't propagating THAT. But many were making arguments to the contrary. Rembrandt's rendering of Jonathan going to comfort David at Horesh (1 Samuel 23:15-18) is used in this wrongful argument because it shows David in a submissive position before his friend. (In reality , he was showing honor to his friend).

Friendship: The Love That Can No Longer Speak Its Name
Call it the Brokeback Effect even though it's been going on long before that particular piece of 'cinema' was released in 2005. Now any time the culture sees two men embracing or enjoying the other's company our cultural conditioning kicks in and we question in our mind their intentions. It's why a college-aged camp counselor can't comfort a crying kid by hugging him (He might be feeling him up!). It's why we're suspicious if we see an adult male helping a little boy in a public restroom (He may be a pedophile!). It's why two guys sitting across from each other at Starbuck's having a serious talk raises eyebrows (They might be on a date! I've actually had to deal with this one personally while having coffee with a buddy). There's no such thing anymore as "we're friends" between men. It can no longer be that simple and pure. Our culture now demands there be MUST something scandalous when two men are alone together.

How did we get to this point?

It think it's because healthy, intimate, and God-honoring male friendships have become so foreign to us that when we see them with skin on we automatically assume scandal. We're so scandal-sensitive that impropriety is that with which we are most familiar. We're trained to look for it around every corner by media and an overarching society of suspicion quickly losing its ability to conceive of anything truly pure and good. Most men have never been through battle and blood with a buddy the way Frodo and Sam or David and Jonathan experienced. And because of this, wedded with the increasing call for acceptance of "the love that dare not speak its name," men are alone and confused and afraid.

ALONE

Men are alone mostly because no one's shown us a healthy way to have friends. Many of our fathers made it without friends, why can't we? I would answer simply that it just doesn't work. And we men know that instinctively. We are made to be friends with other men and share deep spiritual things from our hearts. But because of a lack of modeling on this and a fear that we'll be labeled "gay," we isolate ourselves and don't develop a substantial relationship with any man.

CONFUSED
A growing percentage of boys are being forced to ask sexual questions at far too early an age. With porn of all types rampant and free on the Internet, it's really no surprise many guys are exposed to sexuality in all forms before many of them even hit puberty proper. They're called "gay" on the playground only so many times before they may start thinking that maybe they are. Parents provide a PC in their son's bedroom and online they go "exploring." In my experience speaking with college men who have been very open and honest with me about this, gay porn is a growing entry drug into a lifestyle men were never meant to enter. This pollutes their ability to invest healthily in friendship with other boys and creates relational deficiencies whether the porn is straight or gay.

AFRAID
This fear I mention sums up several points in this article and plays out in two major ways : 1) the boy attracted to girls is afraid he'll be labled "gay" if he seems to be close friends with any other boys. Or, 2) the boy may be feeling like he's attracted to other guys and fears getting close to any of them, or is afraid he'll be "found out."


Wrapping Up the Part 1
There are more directions and avenues we could explore. And I have here made some broad statements for sake of brevity. The purpose of this writing is not to do an in-depth article but to begin a conversation. In Part 2 I will set out to provide some helps for picking ourselves up off the floor and fighting back against an agenda that would rob men of God's gift of friends.

See you in a few weeks for Part 2.

RESOURCES
If you are reading this and wish to further explore the subject, I commend you the above article I mentioned. It is exquisitely written and very thorough: A Requiem for Friendship: Why Boys Will Not Be Boys and Other Consequences of the Sexual Revolution
If you are a young man struggling in the area of same-gender attraction, I would direct you to an online ministry called Living Hope.

The Friends You Need

Not long ago a close friend of mine commented on another close friend of mine: "How did you fall in with him?" (Isn't it always fun to bridging two friendships together?) 

I didn't have an answer. "I just did," I guess. "Divine providence?" 

Ever sat around in your group of friends and have a moment? An epiphany of sorts that though you may have prayed for friends, you never could have conjured up this group in a million years. I feel this way often when I reflect on my friendships. 

There are men in my life whose presence defines friendship. Many of them I consider my own family ... my brothers. I always say to Jenny that should God grant us children, they'll have about 8 uncles. 

These are the friends for whom I prayed for years as a teenager. They're the friends I wanted, but even moreso, they're the friends I needed. 

Each one balances me and enhances me as a man of God in ways I could not have provided myself in any other way. I think there have been moments of humility where I felt undeserving of such friends, and then there have been moments where I pause, wondering how, out of all the people in all the world, I ended up with THESE people...

But that's who I got and I'm stickin' to 'em. And I'm proud of each of them. I'm even more grateful to God for them.It just confirms to me that You don't get the friends you want, you get the friends you need. 

You can read about just a few of these men in an earlier post. 

Jared's JLA

From Jared and Jenny's wedding program comes these scribblings about the men in our wedding whom God has used to make me into who I am today.

----

Greg McElroy
Pastor, Mentor and life-long friend

If ever I (Jared) had an older brother in this life it is Greg McElroy. He has been a part of some biggest days in my life. Greg was there to walk with me when I first wrestled with God’s call to ministry. A few years later we were licensed to the ministry together. He was with me to buy Jenny’s engagement ring, and consequently I got to be with him that same day when Kelli called to tell him they were expecting Elijah. God even used him to point me toward Normandale Baptist Church, where Jenny and I have found a church home and place of ministry.

This man has discipled me in a most profound way. He has been my voice of reason, my guide, and my best friend. Greg invited me into his world and showed me how to invite others into mine. Because of him I am a better disciple of Christ. I will be a better husband, father, and minister because Greg McElroy loved me and invested in me. I love this man deeply. I am incredibly proud to have him here today, the biggest day of my life yet.

Tyler Wilson
Best Man - BYX Little Bro

Tyler is the first man with whom I had the privilege of doing one-on-one discipleship. I saw so much of my own heart in him that I felt compelled to make a difference in his life. What I didn’t expect was how great a difference he would make in mine. Much in part because of how God moved in our time together do I now find myself a pastor of discipleship. God used the two of us, through times of laughing, crying, talking, praying and serving together, to reveal to us both the directions and purposes of our ministries. I wouldn’t be where I am if not for Tyler Wilson.

It has been a great privilege to grow with him in BYX and now see my little bro maturing into his own man and minister. It is with great love, humility, and joy that I have him stand by my side today as best man.

Steven Hardebeck
Groomsman - BYX Brother, College Roommate

Steven is a fighter whose indomitable spirit inspires the men around him to stand firm. He’s the man in my life who has stood by me in some of my finest moments and those where I felt most defeated. We have both been through very joyful and low times together in our spiritual walks and friendship. But through it all God has moved our hearts to continue the fight for each other.

Steven just doesn’t give up. He is my model for standing in the gap for a brother…the embodiment of a friend loving at all times and a brother born for adversity (Proverbs 18:17). It is one of the great joys of my adult life that our sincere friendship and love for one another as brothers is continually grown and strengthened by God.

Steven also stands with me today representing the fine gentlemen of 725 Schulze: Tom Crawford, Matt Courtney, and Blake Isernhagen. I had a most incredible house of men with whom to live and share my college life.

Joe Thomas
Groomsman - BYX Brother, Creative Consultant

There are those blessed few friends whose presence in your life has all the impact of a comet pulled from orbit. Upon meeting Joe Thomas I knew I was in for a friendship unlike any other. Always up for any adventure, he reminds me to laugh well and often; usually just as much at myself as at the inconsistencies and strange truths of life. He knows me well enough to call me out when I’m being less than the Jared he knows. A constant creative force and perceptive as anyone I’ve ever met, he’s the first person across whose desk I pass any creative ideas or writing because I know his input will help it defy some gravity.

But just as important as all that is Joe’s unfaltering loyalty to his friends. The champion of celebrations, seizing the moment, and his friends’ well being, he can be depended upon to be there for you and be all for you. I love this man for his warmth, versatility, and devotion to God and Spirit-led relationships. Joe’s bright friendship has changed me for better and for good.

Chris Lorenz
Groomsman - BYX Grand-Little Bro, Cell Group Member

One of the finest men I know, Chris’ character speaks volumes. He will sit and listen with earnest heart while you spill your guts. He’ll then encourage you with truth and a much-needed hand on your shoulder.

Chris has grown so much in the time I’ve known him. From a boy with lots of questions to a steady 1 Peter 3:15 man “prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks for a reason for the hope that is in” him, he always responds with his characteristic gentleness and respect. He is able to do so because of his persistent chasing after God and his unabashed application of truth to life’s situations. His honesty, truthfulness, and genuine love of his brothers in Christ are second to none and a great influence.

Austin McKnight
Usher - Brother In Christ

Austin is one of the bravest, most insightful young men I know. In the time he and I have been meeting for discipleship he has become a close friend and treasured younger brother. In him I have a kindred spirit with whom I share many interests, points of view, and a passion for the Gospel in engaging culture as an intelligent Christian.

His pure heart, discerning empathy and great potential are continual encouragements to me in ministry and my relationship with Christ. I see in him the character of Proverbs 20:5. It is a privilege to be a part of his journey as he grows into a guardian, teacher, and sage drawing out purpose from the deep wells of the human heart.

Austin desires to be a force for Christ in the academic arena. And from what I’ve seen so far, he will be some day.

Derek Ensminger
Usher - BYX Cell Group Member, fellow OU Tour Guide

Derek became a great friend to me through BYX and our working together long, sweltering summers at OU Recruitment. I knew when the opportunity presented itself that I had to have him in my cell group. The year and half we spent together with Kevin and Chris was one of the best experiences I carried from college, and the Lord used that time to fortify my friendship with him.

Derek is a man whose heart beats for the lost to come to know Christ. He goes after those in darkness, serving as a son of light (John 12:36) in meeting them where they are and representing Christ. I see his compassion and boldness and am led pray those attributes increase in me. I look up to him a great deal.

Kevin Gaddis
Usher - BYX Cell Group Member

One of my favorite guys to ever pledge BYX. I loved having him in cell group because his passion for seeing someone come to Christ profoundly impacted our group and fraternity.

Everyone knows Gaddis is a genius. But what truly sets him apart and makes him special is how his godly heart guides his intellect. Kevin truly loves the Lord and people with an honesty that motivates those around him to do the same. This was certainly how he inspired me in our time together as a cell group. Much like our NBC mission statement, Kevin lives to know Christ and make him known.

Cloud of Witnesses

I've felt less like myself the past five days. Maybe due to a little extra stress. And some lack of sleep, though that part was certainly not of my choosing. Suffice it to say I've been "off" after having been on my game for quite some time. Today was starting out to be no different, so I prayed to God this morning to reignite whatever it was in me that was missing. To renew me. 

Boy, do I serve a loving, faithful, and steadfast God! Today was going to be all about research for an upcoming paper. Library. All afternoon. I wasn't looking forward to it. The despondent weather didn't help matter, just gave an excuse to be more melancholy. 

But then I ran into some friends at the library. Greg and Tyler, even though they may not have known it, ministered to me greatly in those afternoon hours. Because of  their power of presence, their laughter and their insight I feel like Jared again. My Savior God utilized my great cloud of witnesses to uplift me and care for me for a while. 

Oh, and someone put an anonymous card in my box at the church that said, "Thank you for making an eternal difference. You are loved." There was also a $25 gift certificate to my favorite restaurant included. :-)

Take a moment to call up a friend, facebook them, or write them a letter telling them how much they mean to you. My guys and that anonymous church member probably had no idea I was down in the dumps, but God used them mightily because they made themselves available. 

May we all be obedient and do the same for those the Lord has placed in our lives.